Cardboard Tube Samurai

From Penny Arcade

Cardboard Tube Samurai (or CTS) is the alternate ego of Johnathan Gabriel after finding a cardboard tube in a dumpster, which he promptly used to smack Tycho Brahe in the stomach. He is a man who has wandered the land and become the enemy of petty thieves and crooks.

[edit] The Legend

[edit] Chronicle of Cardboard Tube Samurai

When Tycho complained about going to Taco Hole, Gabe retaliated by visiting the area and facing the boss; the green demon. It attempted to get the better of him, but the Cardboard Tube Samurai was too quick. He used his fatal blow and cut the demon in half, thus ending his rampage across Taco Hole.

[edit] Cardboard and Steel

Before the story, the Cardboard Tube Samurai wandered the land and defeated petty criminals as they tried to take rice and animals from the ordinary folk. He soon became the main enemy of powerful foes, who each demanded access to his Cardboard Tube.

As the main villains attacked him, he scared them away by stating the secondary names of the Cardboard Tube and stood still for two days straight against his nemesis. Ninjas arrived to help his foe, but they did not survive long, as each one was defeated at their own game through one attack; Path through Oblivion.

[edit] The Wandering Age

As he was practicing his meditation skills underneath a rocky waterfall, two ninjas tried to take his Cardboard Tube away, only to be caught by the warrior. He broke a ninja's arm and forced him onto the second's sword. He then used his Cardboard Tube to finish the job. Afterwards, he placed his tube in the waterfall with him; a sign of purification.

[edit] The Wandering Age 2

As he crossed a bridge leading to another land, he passed a woman who soon pulled out a blade lodged within her umbrella. The Samurai was prepared for this, however, and defended himself. Rain began to pour down and the assassain used her umbrella to cover herself.

[edit] Last Rites

His reputation began to increase as he wandered, he even fought alongside Tobun; a hero in the area.

He found a note from Tobun which was impaled into a man's chest, telling him to meet Tobun in Winter. The two had a fearsome duel, but the Cardboard Tube Samurai won.

The Cardboard Tube Samurai stood in a snowy field, feeling the snow touch his palm. He puts on his harvester hat and walks through, leaving the body of Tobun on the ground.

[edit] At the Feast of Afterwinter

The Cardboard Tube Samurai attacked The Shadow Lord's hideout and took his guards unaware. This made the Shadow Lord aware of his impending attack.

[edit] As Spring Dawns

The Shadow Lord tried one more attempt to take the Cardboard Tube Samurai's life. As the Cardboard Tube Samurai walked through the forest, he knew that there was an ambush that surrounded himself and Tonkatsu, his pig. He had already formulated a back-up plan to defeat the foes.

[edit] The Hawk and the Hare

The Cardboard Tube Samurai stopped at a tea house in the middle of winter. As he sat down to drink, the attendant whispered something into his ear. Shortly afterwards, the two men seated on either side of him rose and attacked. He calmly continued to drink his tea. Outside, a hawk is seen taking a hare foraging amidst the snow, following which the Cardboard Tube Samurai is seen walking peacefully out of the building into the snow.

[edit] See Also