Penny Arcade
Register
Advertisement
Big J

Jesus

Jesus is a personal friend of Johnathan Gabriel and Tycho Brahe. He usually tends to visit around Christmas.

Appearance[]

Jesus wears a robe around his body and has a red sheet covering part of it. He has a brown bushy beard and long hair. A halo is constantly above his head to symbolise his holy nature.

Personality[]

Back in the Bible Ages, Jesus was playing Halo 3 at the last supper. He had to tell Judas to stop being a dick for team killing.

He enjoys Bejeweled, even when he is supposed to be mowing the heavens.

Whenever he plays shoot-em-ups, he shoots people as they are typing, proclaiming that they should get onto IRC instead of the game.

Jesus enjoys Christmas and likes to spread the meaning of the holiday around. He once went to Gabe and Tycho's, only to end up playing Double Dash. He has a mythological power to bring those blue sparks.

He likes to play Street Fighter and always throws up the horns whenever he plays Gabe at the game.

As he lives in Heaven, he must take the soul of the departed to the next realm. This meant taking Gabe after his sneeze killed him.

Jesus went Christmas shopping with Gabe once for Tycho. He knew what Tycho truly wanted, but getting it would damn them both. They got him Hickory Farms.

Although people believed the rapture was about to occur, Jesus flew in with a blaze of glory after finding out that humans are frying twinkies now-a-days. He just had to get in on that.

See Also[]

Advertisement